Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
