Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.

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(713): View more from Texas

yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.

Fav 23 5085 805
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(917): View more from New York City

just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.

Fav 23 6596 969
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(314): View more from Missouri

i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating

Fav 45 5382 933
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(614): View more from Ohio

i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.

Fav 14 1287 7614
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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(760): View more from California

Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.

Fav 6 928 1830
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(307): View more from Wyoming

The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...

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(858): View more from California

I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.

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