The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's blow job season.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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