I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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