he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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