I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
