he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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