butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
