Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
