New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
