theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
