Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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