haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
