what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
