I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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