Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need a beard to bite.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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