6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
