does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
