why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Enjoy the penises
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
