so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
