The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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