I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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