so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
