yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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