cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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