Betty ford says i'm here all night
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
