I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
