is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
