we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you never un-have a 4some
We are all done wearing pants today
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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