At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
