My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
