THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
