hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
