never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize