is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is it because I queefed?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
