I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
