Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
