Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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