So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
