At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How does it feel to date your dad?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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