You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize