Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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