guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
