I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
