I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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