Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
