She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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