Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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