is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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