What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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