Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
