it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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