Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just googled if crying burns calories
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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