Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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