so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
