Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
