how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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