We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
